My weight yo-yoed and so did my confidence…We’re on good terms now though

I was always a chubby kid. I was always considered the chubby friend. Even in high school after losing so much weight with mandatory sports and dancing, I was still the thicker one. I used to always get those backhanded compliments like “You’re cute for a chubby girl,” or “Look at those big cheeks. You’re so cute. Like a Cabbage Patch Kid Doll.”

At a whopping size 10/12, I was Miss Thickums. The big girl. Fat to some.  

When I was pregnant with my son back in 2008, I was so sick, I couldn’t keep much of anything down. And after giving birth to an 8-pound baby boy, I had lost about 25 pounds, and ended that pregnancy much smaller than I was prior to it. I was happy with the change. I was happy with my body. I was back down to that size 10/12 that I wore when I was convinced I was humungous.

Then, when depression and sadness began to hit due to marital issues (If you haven’t read about it, you can start at the beginning of the series here.), I put more weight back on.

In 2011, I got pregnant with my daughter. I kept telling myself as long as I didn’t reach 200 pounds, I was OK.

I watched the numbers slowly increase, and before I knew it, I was 200 plus.

By my ninth month of pregnancy, I was about 225 pounds. No problem, right? It’s just baby weight, right? It’ll fall off once you have the baby, right? Well, my baby girl was born a tiny – in comparison to her brother – 6 pound 11 ounce bundle of joy.

The weight barely budged once she entered the world. Matter of fact, a birth control implant in my arm, led to even more weight gain. An unhappy marriage consisting of mental, physical and financial abuse led to me developing a new habit of emotional eating. And you guessed it – more weight.

Now, at some point, I began to try diet and exercise. I was pretty much starving myself but I got down to approximately 214 pounds.

I met my now husband, began gaining a few pounds in happy weight – and then COVID came.

Like everyone else, we were stuck in the house, getting groceries delivered and eating everything.

I blew up to 250 pounds. I was diagnosed as prediabetic, and I was a size 18/20.

Enter step aerobics. I began working out at least once a week. Then, an almost daily Zumba class got added to the schedule. I was losing a little weight, but not much. And once we stopped Zumba, it came right back.

When I got married in 2024, I was 260 pounds. I was beautiful bride, but my confidence lacked in my regular schmegular daily life.

I was teaching my own workout classes along with attending others, and the weight got even more stubborn.

Then one day, I got blood work done. I was diabetic. I saw doctors at my local weight management office, and they first recommended surgery. Coming off the heels of a traumatic thyroid removal when the nurse in recovery almost let me die due to a hematoma – I was all set on that option.

So, they recommended something else – Mounjaro.

I didn’t know much about it, so once I was home, I did a Google search before making a final decision.

I decided to give it a try.

I lost about 10 pounds the first month, and along with a high-protein diet and at least 4 days of working out, the weight was falling off. Everytime I went in for a check-in, my doctor would smile like a proud mother when I told her about my diet and my exercise schedule (teaching 2 step aerobics classes, a weight lifting class and a dance class each week, along with attending my friends aerobics classes at least once a week).

I was excited. Then, almost a year in and about 50 pounds down, something weird happened with my insurance, and my medication wasn’t covered. I went without my weekly shot for about a month.

Almost immediately, I gained 15 pounds back. I was beginning to feel discouraged. I wanted to give up and just settle for what I thought was my new forever body at 250+.

I cried. I checked the scale everyday. And cried every day.

However, I kept exercising. I went back to eating less with high protein. My weight plateaued. But I was still really unhappy. I had my goal in mind, and I was getting so close to it, but without the help of my medication, I was sure my weight was going to balloon again.

Eventually, the issue was resolved, and I was able to restart my journey with some help.

I kept exercising, kept my protein intake high and got my motivation back.

The other day, I stepped on the scale and was 199 pounds. I cried- but this time it was happy tears. I hadn’t been less than 200 pounds since having my daughter 14 years ago.

Since losing weight, not only have my confidence levels increased, but my energy levels are at an all time high. I feel better in my clothes, (and nakey…lol) and my blood sugar levels are under control.

I know GLP-1s are controversial, and everyone has an opinion about them…

“You don’t know what you’re putting in your body…”

“You don’t know the long-term effects of it…”

“You’re cheating to lose weight…”

“You’re taking the easy way out…”

Yea, yea, yea…I know…

But imagine not being able to be active because of your weight and health. Imagine not being able to lose weight despite your best attempts. Imagine having a constant reminder of a bad marriage, depression and 2020 (which, BTW was the worst year of my life being surrounded by death – but we’ll talk about that later). I was ready to shed the weight, and the trauma and unhappiness that went along with it.

I’m so much better. I’m so much happier. I’m a better mom. I’m a better friend. And I’ve found me again.

I know you’re going to tell me the numbers on the scale aren’t important, but to me, they meant more.

In short, do what makes you happy. If it’s becoming slim thick, then so be it.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, you're not alone. Support from a therapist can help you navigate these emotions and find practical ways to care for yourself. The clinicians at New Chapter Counseling Services specialize in supporting women through life transitions, pregnancy, postpartum, and everyday mental health challenges.