When you want to be involved in everything, everywhere, all at once
There are some days that go by when you get to sleep in and be lazy. Maybe kick your feet up and relax with a good book and a cup of tea. No kids calling your name, no husband asking you where his favorite shirt is, no plans with friends and no family members asking you for a “quick favor.”
If you’re anything like me, even in those moments, you may sit back and think you’re missing something.
Because, let’s be honest, those times are few and far in between.
And then, on the other hand, there are the moments when everything is happening – and by everything, I mean stuff you actually want to do.
This upcoming weekend is jam-packed with things I want to participate in – not stuff I feel obligated to do. My church group chat is hyping up this Sunday, I have my workout class to teach, my sorority has community events Saturday and Sunday, I’ve been asked to lead a dance class for a childhood associate, and the groups that I signed up for are doing things.
Where are my clones when I need them?
I spent the past couple of days, trying to fit everything in schedule, carefully lining up times, prioritizing my to-do list, and checking and rechecking the calendar to make sure things don’t overlap.
I’m nervous I’ve made myself too busy, but I’m excited to do all the things.
But there’s a big difference between being overwhelmed by things you have to do versus being busy doing things you want to do.
Still, sometimes even the good stuff can become to much to bear. Fun can turn into exhaustion in a split second when you don’t give yourself room to breathe.
Sooo for those of us who haven’t learned to say “no,” or those, like me, who have extreme FOMO, let’s get back to some old-school New Chapter blogging and give you some practical tips for staying busy without losing your head.
1. Put everything on the calendar. Even if it’s something that happens weekly – if it’s not on the calendar, it doesn’t exist. Dramatic? Maybe. Truth? Defihnitely. It’s almost bound to be forgotten if you don’t write it down.
2. Be honest with yourself and the world. Just because you can squeeze it in, doesn’t mean you should. Having a free half hour doesn’t mean you have the mental and physical energy to accomplish the ask at hand.
3. Prioritize. Everything isn’t important, and everything doesn’t need you in attendance. Put the non-negotiables at the top of your list, and all the other not-as-important stuff can fall in line after that. And as much as I hate saying this, fun doesn’t mean important.
4. Leave some breathing room. If every single second is planned for, one something running late or some unexpected traffic can throw everything off. Give yourself a buffer when possible.
5. Busy doesn’t equal productive. Just because you’re moving doesn’t mean you’re actually moving toward something. Make sure your moves have purpose.
6. You are allowed to change your mind. Sometimes we make commitments when we’re feeling like we can conquer all the things. Then, we sit and rethink. It’s Ok to cancel (try to give some notice). It’s ok to occasionally disappoint others to keep from disappointing yourself.
7. When all is said and done, make room for quiet moments. When we’re constantly busy, taking it easy can feel off. Don’t trick yourself into thinking you’re wasting time by taking a break. It’s a little thing called balance.
So yes, this weekend is going to be super busy.
But it’s busy with things I’m choosing to do,
Things that make me happy and bring me joy.
Things that connect me with people I enjoy and those who fill my cup.
And maybe, just maybe, that’s the real secret to being busy without going crazy.
Making sure your busy life is still a life you actually want to live.
If you're feeling overwhelmed, you're not alone. Support from a therapist can help you navigate these emotions and find practical ways to care for yourself. The clinicians at New Chapter Counseling Services specialize in supporting women through life transitions, pregnancy, postpartum, and everyday mental health challenges.