Love the you from yesterday, today and tomorrow

Let me start by saying, I love me. I especially love the me that exists after dropping 60 pounds. But like, many others out there, I focus more on what I can fix or what should be better, rather than the fact that my body has done some pretty amazing things.

In the days of lipo, breast implants, botox and BBLs, it’s hard to not compare yourself with the women who’ve gone under the knife for whatever reason they had.

I used to say if I ever got real disposable income, that I’d get a mommy makeover – ya know tummy tuck, breast lift, maybe a little lipo. But then I changed my mind after hearing of news of a few people losing their lives while under anesthesia. I know it’s an occasional occurrence, but it has scared me enough to say “screw it. I’m gone love this body as is.”

Bikini body it is not. Beach ready? The beach gone get whatever body I have. I’m no longer concerned with anyone else’s opinion of me, or what I look like. Their thoughts are none of my business.

I’ve discovered since I’ve accepted my body, I’ve become happier, and my confidence has increased a thousand percent.

Yes, there is still some work to be done. So, yes, I’m still in the gym and trying to eat better. How and ever, I don’t harp on the imperfections. Instead, I think of what my body has gone through and how I’m still here to tell the story.

First of all, me and this body birthed two beautiful babies. The first of which was an 8-pound baby boy who was the result of an emergency C-section. The second was a gorgeous 6 pound 11 ounce baby girl which was born after complications including blood clots, almost bleeding out and requiring a blood transfusion.

I made it through gall bladder removal surgery. Then, a thyroid removal surgery – after which I had to go back under because I developed a hematoma at the surgery site.

My body and I have been pierced, tattooed, danced and prayed – and she hasn’t let me down yet.

So if I’m willing and ready to give the world whatever version of me that exists in the now – you should be OK with presenting yourself as is too.

In case you need some reasons why, here, ‘cuz you gone make me work for your confidence…

1. Your body has carried you through everything you’ve survived, and it deserves appreciation, not judgement.

2. Your body deserves love no matter what it looks like. Be kind to yourself with the weight, the scars, the stretch marks and the wrinkles.

3. Your body is bound to change. Whether it’s for health reasons, birth or just age, our bodies will change, and that’s all about being human.

4. Comparison is the thief of joy. There will always be someone thinner, curvier, taller, younger or more muscular – especially in these days when there’s a surgery for everything. Even your imperfections are perfect.

5. You deserve to enjoy your life now. Don’t keep those cute pics in your camera roll. Go swimming, date, take the vacation. Most importantly, live.

6. The scars tell a story. Behind every stretch mark, keloid or hyperpigmentation is a tale. And it’s probably interesting too. Tell it.

7. Your health journey can happen without hate. Wanting to become stronger or healthier doesn’t mean you have to think something is wrong with you now.

8. Don’t apologize for your body. Don’t shrink, hide or constantly explain it for taking up space. (Please see the lanternfly blog).

9. Self-acceptance means self-care. When you respect your body, you’ll take better care of it instead of criticizing it.

10. You only get this version of you one time. Who you are today, won’t be exactly who you are tomorrow. Love the you that you are now!

It’s OK and perfectly normal to be on an acceptance rollercoaster when it comes to your body. One day, you may look in the mirror and see flaws. The next, you may be like “B, I’m fine AF.” Either way, know that that’s your body, and it needs to be taken care of in all of those moments. It’s OK to see a “flaw” – and I use that term loosely, because who determined what’s perfect and what’s flawed. But what’s not OK is for us not to love ourselves because we aren’t “perfect.”

Don’t let these BBLs and implants fool you sis. You are beautiful. and I love you just the way you are.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, you're not alone. Support from a therapist can help you navigate these emotions and find practical ways to care for yourself. The clinicians at New Chapter Counseling Services specialize in supporting women through life transitions, pregnancy, postpartum, and everyday mental health challenges.